Working Mom's Guilt

I blame myself. My pride in being a mom who doesn't rush her kid into the doctor at the first sniffle or sneeze, along with my over-the-top will-do attitude at work have kept me from doing right by him.


For the last week or so, Jack has had a case of the sniffles, which progressed to a case of the sniffles, coughs, sneezes, wheezes and phlemmies (another new entry in my personal dictionary). Using the humidifier, bundling him up and aspirating his nose were no longer viable options on Friday night into Saturday morning when the wheezing began.

Still hoping for the best and not knowing the full extent of the illness, I called the doctor's office to get a same-day appointment before the predicted ice storm. After taking his temperature in preparation for the call and discovering it to be 100.4 degrees, I reported all of the symptoms and signs to a questioning nurse, who in turn directed me to get him to the nearest emergency room "asap".


Armed with only ourselves--having forgotten the diaper bag in our haste--we arrived at OSF ER. To make a long story short--he has RSV. This is like a serious cold that can be potentially very dangerous, especially to infants 2-6 months old. The doctor also thought he could also have Fifth's Disease because of his rash--including the rosy cheeks (see pic). I think it's because we gave him a Johnson's vapor bath that morning. The rash began resolving by the end of the day.



If I weren't working so much--setting my alarm in the wee hours in the morning to manage multiple priorities, would I have acted with a little more urgency? Yes. Is that work's fault? Absolutely not. Everyone chooses his or her own destiny. My goal is to be a mom who provides--but right now I'm focused to much on providing in the material sense instead of tending to the physical. My self-worth should be measured by the width of my child's grin instead of the amount in my check.